Funny how things change

it’s so fucked. even though i’m surrounded by all these people, i still feel alone. i don’ t really have anyone i can talk to any more. it’s so hard to see things clearly. i really thought i was over him. i had moved forward. but since he’s been back, i think my life has taken a step back. i really don’t know what happened. i’m jealous. sad. i guess part of me sees who he is and part of me still loves him. always will. am i still in love with him? i don’t know. don’t know anything anymore. it’s hard to see that he’s moved on with his life. and me? in some ways i’ve moved forward, in others i’ve fallen backwards. it hurts.

28 August 2005

I found this draft in one of my old email accounts. I needed a place to write out my feelings and emails are the easiest place. I’m still purging and clearing -it’s gonna be a while before I finally clear out the account.

It’s interesting for me to see how I’ve changed since I wrote that and how everything around me is different than it was five years ago. I’ve moved on since then to different people, new friends, new places -way different but still awesome.

Cheers to change!

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